Sex, love-making, doing-the-dirty... whatever you call it. Talking about sex can be more than a little awkward sometimes (or a turn on, I suppose). But hey, I thought I would step outside my comfort zone and talk with a bunch of strangers about it! I went to a meet up group called: “Let’s Talk About Sex.” Because, why not?

Despite the openness and authentic awesome weirdness from the people atWorld Domination Summit, I had a feeling this wouldn’t be some massive orgy. The summit is held in Portland and run by Chris Guillebeau, author of international best seller “$100 startup” and his new “Born For This”. Yes, that’s right, as part of learning how to dominate the world, evidently one must be able to talk and understand sex. After all, if it wasn’t for sex, then none of us would be here! So why do most of us hide from talking about it? Well, maybe that’s only me. I’ve always been a little (no, VERY) shy when talking about my sex life. I met my husband when I was young and let’s just say, I wasn’t super experienced. He was older on the other hand, and had 8 more years of experience under his belt. Anyway, I’m not going to fill you in on my sex life, that really would be awkward. (Dad if you’re reading this, you can breathe again.)

If you hadn’t noticed already, I’m really beginning to get comfortable talking about sex. I have to admit, it’s kind of fun to write about it for my company blog. Some people talk about “10 steps to success” or “What I wish I knew when starting a startup” or “How to blah blah blah”. Here I am talking about SEX! One of the biggest key takeaways I got from this year’s World Domination Summit was that if you have a goal, just go for it. You’ll figure out the “How to’s” later. The summit had 1000+ people all making the world a better place just by being in it. I felt like I discovered a soul family or something! It was seriously beautiful to connect with so many people who share the same values and wavelength. Ok, I’m sounding like a real hippy here, but can I just say that the good energy and vibes were so infectious and contagious! At one point, I even participated in Laughter Yoga in the public park. Seriously, a bunch of us laughing like maniacs in a park, and it was beautiful. Now, in the days since WDS, random people have stopped me in the street saying things such as “Your presence is beautiful.” and “Your smile makes me happy.” Awhhh, yaysies! Something must have rubbed off.

 

 

Okay so, back to the sex meet up. It was led by sex gurus Natalie Vartanian and Bob Schwenkler. 30 of us sex-meet up-attending-enthusiasts stood in a big circle and one by one, we introduced ourselves and told the group what brought us here. Some people said “I want to be better in bed for my girlfriend,” “I’m just curious”, “I want to understand”,“I’m horny” … actually no one said that, I should have though, that would have been funny! Instead I said, “I’m here for personal reasons.” It’s not that I didn’t trust the entire group to tell them exactly why I was there, I just wasn’t super comfortable yet. After the introductions, Natalie asked us all to make eye contact with someone in the circle, and that they would be our partner for the next 20 minutes. Whilst, I’m sure some may have questioned this request, I had a feeling this was based on feelings. I looked for the most caring eyes that I could trust. I found someone. “Now, I want you all to stare deeply into your partner’s eyes for one minute without looking away.” Natalie instructed. Let me ask you, when was the last time you stared deeply into someone’s eyes for one minute? Not your sex partner, but staring into the eyes of a complete stranger where you don’t even get the chance to actually meet.

If you’ve done this exercise before, you know it’s incredibly awkward at first. The first three seconds feels like ten and the first thirty seconds feels like ten minutes. I didn’t know which eyeball to look into, my fists were kind of clenched or fiddling with my bracelet. I wanted to burst out laughing, I wanted to look away, it felt so odd! Then all of a sudden, I really found myself staring into these beautiful eyes, noticing the color, noticing their lovely wrinkles that surrounded them. Then, almost in an instant I noticied their expression change from awkwardness to a sense of calmn. We were really staring into each other’s souls now. We both felt comfortable and accepted one another, suddenly my eyes started to well gradually, and so did hers. We both noticed that our eyes were welling, more and more. The kind and awkward eyes turned into kind and vulnerable eyes. I could feel pain through her beautiful eyes. I felt that she was suffering from something but I had no idea what, and clearly I was too because suddenly I couldn’t control the tears running down my cheeks. This really felt intense, any second I was going to burst into tears. When was this minute going to end?! “Aaand, that’s a minute.” Said Natalie.

We remained staring and then instantly both burst into tears. We hugged the most authentic hug and then we started laugh-crying. You know that feeling? “Wow!” We both said with amazement. We literally connected as human beings purely by staring into one another’s souls. We didn’t know each other’s names, what we did, where we were from, interests… nothing. We knew nothing about each other, other than the fact that both of our souls connected and we both had some unknown pains. We connected on an emotional level and we weren’t the only ones. There were hugs and laughter and all sorts going on after that incredibly long but special minute! That in my opinion sums up what World Domination Summit was about. It was about connecting with humans and making friends based on the simple fact that they’re authentic and vulnerable souls in this world making a difference. The meetup continued, “Partner A, you have one minute to tell Partner B about your desires. Partner B, just listen. And then you’ll swap over.” Natalie whimsically instructed. Honesty and openness, everything came out. We did this exercise for several questions over the next 20 minutes my heart was on my sleeve for my new friend to see. I trusted her like you cannot believe and she trusted me. We listened and we cared. There was no room for advice for one another just simply compassion. And that was it. I cried in a sex meet up.

After my sex meet up, I joyfully and confidently walked away knowing that I had a new friend and more knowledge on how to open up. Yes, these are the types of people who are learning to dominate the world. Who would have thought that sex + laughter + kindness + compassion + [self] love are the magical ingredients for the world we long for?

 

Milly Toovey

 

PS For those of you who read “How the F*%& did happiness trigger my anxiety attack”, I almost experienced another one due to the overwhelming excitement at WDS. However I practiced what I preached and fortunately avoided one. BOOM!

 

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